my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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