dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
