Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize