You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
