there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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