He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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