plz talk dirty to me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
