Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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