your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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