Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
