Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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