Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
