You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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