If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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