My brain says no but my pants say off.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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