I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
