there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize