I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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