just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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