Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize