they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
