All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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