She is in my trunk
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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