My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
