he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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