She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
