Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
