I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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