I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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