could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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