I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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