I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
