I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
