When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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