Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
