Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
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He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
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I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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