it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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