I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize