you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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