I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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