Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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