They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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