He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
