worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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