Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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