I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
