guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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