if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
