I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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