In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
