i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
