and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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