i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You took a bar mat shot.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places