So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
