Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter