Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble

  (1-310): View more from California

  Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo

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  (310): I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble (1-310): Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo http://tfl.nu/rwvs
  Replies (2) Good night (887) Bad night (557)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I hope im prettier

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying

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  (828): I hope im prettier (1-828): yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying http://tfl.nu/h2yr
  Replies (37) Good night (790) Bad night (3425)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...

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  (303): maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing... http://tfl.nu/2fyx
  Replies (11) Good night (1153) Bad night (3867)
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  (831): View more from California

  No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

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  (831): No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick http://tfl.nu/r1nb
  Replies (37) Good night (1555) Bad night (7853)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We better fuck soon then

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  (609): I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again. (201): We better fuck soon then http://tfl.nu/yyxr
  Replies (25) Good night (7838) Bad night (1029)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.

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  (423): i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions. http://tfl.nu/w3io
  Replies (17) Good night (1200) Bad night (8123)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her

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  (954): had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her http://tfl.nu/teql
  Replies (15) Good night (1045) Bad night (5477)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

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  (502): If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was. http://tfl.nu/20o3
  Replies (6) Good night (3709) Bad night (891)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.

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  (740): Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed. http://tfl.nu/6s1t
  Replies (5) Good night (2421) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.

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  (913): You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes. http://tfl.nu/5pct
  Replies (6) Good night (2681) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Go back and try to find another to go home with.

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  (501): Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders? (501): Go back and try to find another to go home with. http://tfl.nu/r0ix
  Replies (9) Good night (2450) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex

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  (617): Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex http://tfl.nu/il5u
  Replies (4) Good night (1140) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.

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  (250): Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles. http://tfl.nu/jjec
  Replies (6) Good night (1447) Bad night (532)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him

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  (801): NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him http://tfl.nu/eloy
  Replies (7) Good night (1754) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related

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  (775): I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related http://tfl.nu/atsx
  Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (385)

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