matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
