if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
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