R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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