I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
last night I used snow as a chaser
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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