im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize