Don't make out with my wife yet
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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