My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
