Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
