I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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