I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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