I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize