She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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